Love and time


Remember when you fell in love? I’d describe it as a ‘beginners mindset’ of love. When this is in place, life can be um, really lovely; remember? I’ve been with Captain for 21 years; we have two kids, and he travels six months out of the year, so for me, resurrecting the love mindset is a necessary weapon in my marriage arsenal. I try to reconnect by DESCONSTRUCTING love into small bites. That attention, when given priority can reconnect me to my inner love-muffin. Let’s have some fun with this over the next few days…and see what happens.


When I met The Captain (years ago), we spent more than a few evenings playing chess at the Manisses Hotel parlor on Block Island, Rhode Island.  The game of chess is a perfect metaphor for love: complicated, strategic, exhausting, and exciting; and it takes time. You can learn a lot about your opponent over the time it takes to play a few games of chess.

Spending time being playful creates fertile soil to spread, ignite or reignite love. Donate some time to your loved one in an unexpected way a watch their love mindset change. 


Serve your sweetheart coffee tomorrow morning. Add a tray & flower? Or go crazy and try a mocha flaming coffee like the Manisses does. You’ll need to spend some time practicing this technique, which can be dangerous, so please be careful. Watch the video below to see how it’s done. What’s more endearing to a loved one than showing them an impressive new skill that involves handling fire? You’ll need sturdy (thick-walled) wineglasses that won’t crack from the heat, a cinnomon-sugar mix to caramelize on the rim, hot coffee, Godiva & Kahlua liquors, and whipped cream.

IDEA: Spend some time playing games. If you want to teach your kids or learn yourself there’s a great game called No Stress Chess that has over 200 5-starred reviews on Amazon. One side teaches the moves with helpful cards and hints. When you’re ready to try it on your own, flip the board over.

I can’t think of a more perfect morning than being served a cup of coffee in bed, or a more enjoyable Valentine’s day than enjoying flaming coffees over a game of chess. Time spent being playful, or thoughtful elevates life from the mundane and catches you in the present moment; where love can be found.

““The space between your heart & mine is the space we will fill with time.

― Unknown

Want more love, deconstructed?

Day 1: love & time

Day 2: love seeks

Day 3: love & boobs

Day 4: Love is wabi-sabi

Day 5: Are you lovable

Day 6: Love is silly

Day 7: Love is action: 4 Valentine’s Day Ideas 


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